Sunday, May 18, 2014


I ran my first ever triathalon. It was very ambitious of me. Although I am not in great shape, I wanted to challenge myself. I actually signed up for it last year after I had lost 40 pounds and then I found out I was pregnant with Judson, so I had to postpone it.
It was possibly the hardest thing I have ever done. It was emotionally and physically draining. I was very emotionally through the whole thing but I stuck with it and slowly but steady I finished. I almost had a panic attack in the pool- there were so many people and I was so nervous that I couldn't catch my breath. 6 long pool lengths seemed to go on forever. The bike part was by far, the hardest. I was not prepared for how hard it was. There was a monster hill that we had to go up- twice! Both times, i got half way up and I had to get off and walk. It was so steep. 12 miles went on forever- especially the second loop. But there was a downhill portion at the end which was very welcomed. By the time it was time to run, I was on auto pilot. I once again had to go up the monster hill, which I walked. And then I was able to run most of the rest. I ran the last 2 miles to the finish line without stopping at all which is amazing considering how tired I was. As soon as I crossed the finish line, I had a complete breakdown- bawling like a baby and I couldn't control it. I was exhausted and emotionally it was almost too much. It was incredibly hard but I am proud that I did it and that I finished.
 My sister, Lyssa did the race with me and I totally admire her for doing it also. It was hard for her too but she was a rock star and finished about 20-25 minutes before I did. And she was there at the finish to hug me as I had my melt down. I love her so much and I am so Proud of her!

Before the race started.... scared to death

Swim 300 Meters

Bike 12.5 miles

Run 5k

crossing the finish line

after the race
A few weeks ago, a bunch of my extended family ran a 5k to support a friend of my uncle who's wif is battling cancer. It was a good bonding experience and I was so proud that so many of us showed up and we all finished!! I love my family more than words can say!


Sunday, May 11, 2014


 Look who is 8 months... Judson!! He is getting so big. He finally sit up by himself and is starting to get up on his knees and rock back and forth. He may be crawling soon. He LOVES his sisters and his dog Jovi. He especially loves to watch his sisters dance around. He started eating rice puffs and other baby snacks, but still no teeth in sight. He is still as happy as ever and I am convinced I have the best behaved baby in the world.


Sunday, May 4, 2014

Broken Hearted

My sweet baby,

Today I found out that I lost you. I'm sorry that for whatever reason, you will not get to join our family here on this earth. I'm sorry for all you missed and didn't get to experience, but mostly I am sorry that I wont get to meet you, hold you, kiss you, know you and watch you grow.
 I dreamt of you. I  knew you were coming somehow a long time ago. You were meant to be with me. I was supposed to be your mom. 

I thought about all my blessings today. And although I have had some hard trials in my life, I could only think about how my life in the last few years has been full of blessing after blessing. Its more than luck. Life has turned out exactly the way it has supposed to. This makes losing you even harder. How can I say that life has turned out the way it should when I dont have you here with me?

I spoke to God today, I begged him, I yelled at him, and then ultimately, I thanked him for the gift of allowing me to have you even for such a short time. I keep thinking that in this there is a bigger lesson that I need to learn. To not take things for granted, to enjoy every present moment, to cherish my other children every second, to celebrate life in every aspect, as if every day would be the last.
A lesson that somehow God wanted me to learn. A lesson that is a gift so heavy and so hard to forget. But a gift nonetheless.

I dreamt of you. You were meant to be with me. And I know you will be. I have an angel baby.
I will see you someday and I will get to be your mom. We will all be together, I promise. Until then, you are in my heart and I will know that you are in a wonderful place with many people that I love, waiting for me.

Love, Mommy


Saturday, May 3, 2014

Building a house!

There have been some changes around here! Brett's job has changed a bit.... he is till working for both companies, but seperately. They will not be merging, so he will continue to fly out to Irvine CA twice a month for a few days at a time. But, that change came with another pay raise :) So, that was nice and makes it worth it for now. 

We moved out of our house in Layton over a month ago. We are now renting my moms basement apartment while we build our house. Yes! We are building a house!!!

Our new home will be built in West Orem next to the Sleepy Ridge golf course. It will be done sometime in October or early November and we are so excited. It is the perfect house for us!

The building process so far has been very cool. There are so many options to chose from and choices to be made. But it is fun.  We will be sure to post pictures as soon as they break ground in a couple weeks. :)